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Im retiring from the forum. Have fun everyone.
chrisxa
Quit na ako ingame. Deleted na l2 folder
27 years old
Female
Luthien, Draconis Combine
Classic Battletech, old school D&D, women, Ancient and Modern military history, women, Strategy/Tactics/War science, women, Fantasy and Science Fictions, women, Fixing computers, watching Discovery and National Geographic channel, reading, some writing, and uhhh....did i mention women?
Clan: Legionnaires/Stronghold/Wolf
Joined: 22-April 08
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Last Seen: 14th December 2008 - 11:15 AM
Local Time: Jan 7 2009, 06:25 AM
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How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb?
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
5 to flame the spell checkers
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again
To those who care:
well, i cant connect to the internet... i reformatted my pc and, for the love of me, i cant find/install the network interface card and the usb driver... im close to bashing my pc at home...so, i wont be online for the time being.
If server is laggy you can visit http://notalwaysright.comExample: QUOTE Will Somebody Please Think Of The Pr0n
TECH SUPPORT | ONTARIO, CANADA
Me: “Hello, *** Computers. How may I help you?”
Customer: “Yeah, my computer has a ton of viruses. I was told I need a complete wipe. Can you guys do that?”
Me: “Yes we can sir. Can I just ask why you think your computer needs a full wipe?”
Customer: “Yeah, well my son was looking at porn a few days ago, and now it won’t work at all. That’s why I’d like my computer wiped.”
Me: “Alright, then sir. You can bring in your computer anytime today. I just want to ask if there’s any files you want us to save before you do.”
Customer: “Yeah, can you save my porn?”
Me: “I’m… sorry?”
Customer: “Can you save my porn?”
Me: “Yes sir, we can definitely save all your… files. We just aren’t able to move any programs over unless you have the CD.”
Customer: “No, I have all the CD’s. I’ll do it all myself. I just want to know if you can save my porn.”
Me: “Yes sir, we can save all your files. Word documents, JPEGs–”
Customer: “–and my porn.”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “Great. I’ll bring it in this afternoon.” *click*
(Fortunately, he never came in.) QUOTE Big Lies Are Better Than Small Ones
LIQUOR STORE | WILLIMANTIC, CT, USA
(Often I enter the beer cooler with shorts, a t-shirt and some rubber-hand work gloves on.)
Me: *walks out of the cooler*
Customer: “Are you f***ing insane? It’s freezing in there.
Me: “I don’t mind it.”
Customer: “That’s bulls***! You know it’s cold. Why would you lie to me?”
Me: “Excuse me? I’m pretty sure I know my own tolerance and I’m working so I get a bit warm, even in there.”
Customer: “WARM!? In a COOLER!? You’re a G**D*** LIAR! How can you be WARM in THERE!”
Me: “I’m Canadian, and ever since my igloo melted I only feel at home in there.”
Customer: “Oh, I didn’t know. I’m sorry for your loss.” QUOTE Well Played, Indeed
FAST FOOD | NORTH DAKOTA, USA
(This is a friend’s experience while working at a popular fast food place on the overnight shift.)
Employee: “Thanks for calling, how may I help you?”
Customer: “Hi. I came through drive-thru earlier tonight, and there’s something wrong with my food.”
Employee: “Um, okay…what’s wrong exactly?”
Customer: “Well, I ordered ***, and there was a used condom on the sandwich.”
Employee, holding in a laugh: “Sir, that’s impossible. We don’t practice safe sex here.”
Customer: “Well played.” *hangs up* QUOTE Paging Leonidas To The Front Desk
HARDWARE STORE | NEW YORK, NY, USA
Customer: “Look! My friend told me I could get this type of hammer at your store! Now go get it for me!”
Cashier: “Sir, I already told you… we don’t have ANY hammers back here that aren’t already stocked on the shelves.”
Customer: “LOOK HERE. F**K YOU! I KNOW YOU’RE TRYING TO SAVE MONEY BY SWITCHING OUT YOUR STOCKS! GET ME THIS HAMMER!”
(At this point, I come to the front of the store, overhearing what’s going on; note that I’m the manager.)
Me: “Is there a problem?”
Customer: “Yes sir! Your employee here is not doing what I tell her to!”
Me: “Well, you need to calm down and understand that we don’t have what you’re looking for. So maybe you should go back to shelves and check–”
Customer: “F**K THAT!!! IT’S NOT THERE, OKAY?! YOU NEED TO F**KING GET ME WHAT I ASK FOR!”
Me: “That’s it. Get out of my store.”
Customer: “What? NO!”
Me: “Sir, get out, or I have to take you out.”
Customer: “Then do it!”
(I go around the counter and approach the customer. I yank him by his collar & drag him to the door.)
Me: “Now, then… you wanna apologize and maybe come back in?”
Customer: “No! I just want my hammer! God, what is this madness?!”
Me: *puts the customer down*
Customer: *confused* “… What is it?”
(I turn back to the cashier, who nods in approval. I then turn back to face the customer.)
Me: “Madness? THIS! IS! SPARTAAAAAAAAA!” *kicks customer out of store and slams door* QUOTE I Tremble For Our Children
SCHOOL | NIAGARA FALLS, NY, USA
(A teacher calls me to her classroom. She is trying to project an image on a screen behind a student for a TV camera shot with the projector at eye level in front of the student.)
Teacher: “There is a shadow behind the student now. How can I get rid of that?”
Me: “You can’t. He is blocking the light from the projector from getting to the screen. You could put the projector behind the student, but the image would be smaller on the screen.”
Teacher: “Then what can we do?”
(I get the idea of holding a piece of paper over part of the lens of the projector to create a square area where the student stands where no light would shine. This gives the shadow a bit neater of a shape rather than a human shape.)
Me: “Here, hold this paper over the left side of the lens where the student is standing.”
(The teacher puts a piece of paper RIGHT IN FRONT of the students face.)
Me: “No, right by the lens so a square unlit area will be where the student is standing.”
(The teacher moves the piece of paper and puts it directly BEHIND the students head.)
Me: “No, here…”
(I put the piece of paper in front of the projector lens, leaving a nice square dark area on the screen where the student would stand.)
Teacher: “Well now there is a square there! There is no image directly behind the student, just around the student!”
Me: “Yeah, I know. There is nothing you can do about that, though. It’s the physics of light.”
Teacher: “What if I ask your boss? Think he could do it?”
Me: “No, he cannot bend light around objects.”
Teacher: “Why not?”
Me: “Because he’s not a black hole.” QUOTE He Uses The Google
TECH SUPPORT | SASKATCHEWAN, CANADA
Me: “Thank you for calling *** Services, how may I help you?”
Customer: “I am an old man who does not understand anything about computers. Something is wrong… can you help me step by step?”
Me: “Yes, I can. First off I need to know somethings about your computer…”
(After about 5 minutes he hands the phone to his son who is a self-proclaimed computer software technician.)
Customer’s son: “Hey, this is ***. I know about computers so you can speak all the Internet jargon you want.”
Me: “Alright. First off, what web browser are you using?”
Customer’s son: “Well I am on Google, so Internet Explorer.”
Me: “… Sir?”
Customer: “Yeah, since I am on Google, I’m obviously using Internet Explorer.”
Me: “Can I speak with your father, sir?” QUOTE Rudolph The Boob-Nosed Reinder
MEDICAL SUPPLY CALL CENTER | CALIFORNIA, USA
Me: “Thank you for calling ***, this is Bill in the breast aesthetics department. How may I help you?”
Customer: “My left boob popped.”
Me: “Okay, so the implant failed?”
Customer: “Yes.”
Me: “Are your implants silicone gel or saline?”
Customer: “The water kind.”
Me: “So, we’ve had a saline deflation. I need to ask you some questions in regards to how it may have deflated.”
Customer: “Why, don’t you believe me?”
Me: “Of course I believe you, but as part of making our implants even better and evaluating where under the device’s warranty this falls, I need to know what may have led up to the implant’s leak.”
Customer: “Oh, so you think this is my fault?! You make a crappy implant and you have the nerve to blame me?”
Me: “Wait, wait. First, I didn’t make your implant, my company did. I’m here to help you get this fixed in the fastest way possible and that starts with finding out how the implant deflated.”
Customer: “So you want to know what I did to screw them up, is that right? I spend a fortune on these things to be walking around with a flat tire of a tit and you think it’s my fault?”
Me: “No, ma’am. I simply need to know how to cover this under your warranty, to see how much money we are going to give you to fix the problem. We give you a check for money to fix the problem if you’ll just answer my questions. What do you remember doing when you first noticed the deflation in your breast?”
Customer: “Me and my boyfriend were playing sex hide-and-seek in the house and he thought it would be more fun if my boobs glowed. So, he used a needle tube to insert little red lights into them… what do you call those little glowing lights? It’s like three letters?”
Me: “… A diode?”
Customer: “Yes. He’s a trained professional… he uses them on animals at his job all the time.”
Me: “So, your boyfriend punched a hole in your chest and tried inserting a diode inside the implant?”
Customer: “Well, not in my chest. Just on the top side of my boob so it wouldn’t hurt. He numbed it first.”
Me: “… And this is the implant’s fault, how?”
Customer: “It started leaking and getting flat.”
Me: *laughing* “I’m sorry, can you repeat that? I’m recording this and no one is going to believe me!”
Customer: *click* QUOTE The Magical Mocha Phone
TECH SUPPORT | PHOENIX, AZ, USA
(I used to repair phones for an office.)
Customer: ”My phone is broken.”
Me: “Can you please describe the problem?”
Customer: “It’s broken.”
Me: “In what way?”
Customer: “It doesn’t work.”
Me: “Do you have a dial tone? Can you not dial a specific number?”
Customer: “Nothing happens. It’s broken.”
Me: “Where is your desk?”
Customer: “Second floor, cube ***.”
(Upon arriving, I find the phone with no lights, no dial tone, no anything. On a hunch, I ask…)
Me: “Did you spill coffee in it?”
Customer: “No!”
(I grab the phone, tilt it and coffee pours out.)
Me: “Huh.” *glares at customer*
Customer: “I DIDN’T spill coffee in it!”
Me: ”Riiight.”
To celebrate the upcoming Halloween, lets play a game. [stolen from other boards]
Every acronym stands for something...What exactly that is, however, is sometimes a mystery. But who needs to know real facts when you can just make something up and say it's true?
Just answer what the acronym in the post above yours stands for, and then post a new acronym of your own. Words like "the," "in," "and," "of," etc need not count to explaining the acronym. Also, try to avoid joke acronyms that have already been done.
Like "PETA = People Eating Tasty Animals," for example. Put a little work into it!
more example:
WWF
Wicked Witches Federation
WHO
Ready?
OPEC
International Association of Time Travelers: Members' Forum Subforum: Europe – Twentieth Century – Second World War
Page 263
11/15/2104
At 14:52:28, FreedomFighter69 wrote:
Reporting my first temporal excursion since joining IATT: have just returned from 1936 Berlin, having taken the place of one of Leni Riefenstahl's cameramen and assassinated Adolf Hitler during the opening of the Olympic Games. Let a free world rejoice!
At 14:57:44, SilverFox316 wrote:
Back from 1936 Berlin; incapacitated FreedomFighter69 before he could pull his little stunt. Freedomfighter69, as you are a new member, please read IATT Bulletin 1147 regarding the killing of Hitler before your next excursion. Failure to do so may result in your expulsion per Bylaw 223.
At 18:06:59, BigChill wrote:
Take it easy on the kid, SilverFox316; everybody kills Hitler on their first trip. I did. It always gets fixed within a few minutes, what's the harm?
At 18:33:10, SilverFox316 wrote:
Easy for you to say, BigChill, since to my recollection you've never volunteered to go back and fix it. You think I've got nothing better to do?
11/16/2104
At 10:15:44, JudgeDoom wrote:
Good news! I just left a French battlefield in October 1916, where I shot dead a young Bavarian Army messenger named Adolf Hitler! Not bad for my first time, no? Sic semper tyrannis!
At 10:22:53, SilverFox316 wrote:
Back from 1916 France I come, having at the last possible second prevented Hitler's early demise at the hands of JudgeDoom and, incredibly, restrained myself from shooting JudgeDoom and sparing us all years of correcting his misguided antics. READ BULLETIN 1147, PEOPLE!
At 15:41:18, BarracksRoomLawyer wrote:
Point of order: issues related to Hitler's service in the Bavarian Army ought to go in the World War I forum.
11/21/2104
At 02:21:30, SneakyPete wrote:
Vienna, 1907: after numerous attempts, have infiltrated the Academy of Fine Arts and facilitated Adolf Hitler's admission to that institution. Goodbye, Hitler the dictator; hello, Hitler the modestly successful landscape artist! Brought back a few of his paintings as well, any buyers?
At 02:29:17, SilverFox316 wrote:
All right; that's it. Having just returned from 1907 Vienna where I secured the expulsion of Hitler from the Academy by means of an elaborate prank involving the Prefect, a goat, and a substantial quantity of olive oil, I now turn my attention to our newer brethren, who, despite rules to the contrary, seem to have no intention of reading Bulletin 1147 (nor its Addendum, Alternate Means of Subverting the Hitlerian Destiny, and here I'm looking at you, SneakyPete). Permit me to sum it up and save you the trouble: no Hitler means no Third Reich, no World War II, no rocketry programs, no electronics, no computers, no time travel. Get the picture?
At 02:29:49, SilverFox316 wrote:
PS to SneakyPete: your Hitler paintings aren't worth anything, schmuck, since you probably brought them directly here from 1907, which means the paint's still fresh. Freaking n00b.
At 07:55:03, BarracksRoomLawyer wrote:
Amen, SilverFox316. Although, point of order, issues relating to early 1900s Vienna should really go in that forum, not here. This has been a recurring problem on this forum.
11/26/2104
At 18:26:18, Jason440953 wrote:
SilverFox316, you seem to know a lot about the rules; what are your thoughts on traveling to, say, Braunau, Austria, in 1875 and killing Alois Hitler before he has a chance to father Adolf? Mind you, I'm asking out of curiosity alone, since I already went and did it.
At 18:42:55, SilverFox316 wrote:
Jason440953, see Bylaw 7, which states that all IATT rulings regarding historical persons apply to ancestors as well. I post this for the benefit of others, as I already made this clear to young Jason in person as I was dragging him back from 1875 by his hair. Got that? No ancestors. (Though if anyone were to go back to, say, Moline, Illinois, in, say, 2080 or so, and intercede to prevent Jason440953's conception, I could be persuaded to look the other way.)
At 21:19:17, BarracksRoomLawyer wrote:
Point of order: discussions of nineteenth–century Austria and twenty–first–century Illinois should be confined to their respective forums.
12/01/2104
At 15:56:41, AsianAvenger wrote:
FreedomFighter69, JudgeDoom, SneakyPete, Jason440953, you're nothing but a pack of racists. Let the light of righteousness shine upon your squalid little viper's nest!
At 16:40:17, BigTom44 wrote:
Well, here we frickin' go.
At 16:58:42, FreedomFighter69 wrote:
Racist? For killing Hitler? WTF?
At 17:12:52, SaucyAussie wrote:
AsianAvenger, you're not rehashing that whole Nagasaki issue again, are you? We just got everyone calmed down from last time.
At 17:22:37, LadyJustice wrote:
I'm with SaucyAussie. AsianAvenger, you're making even less sense than usual. What gives?
At 18:56:09, AsianAvenger wrote:
What gives is everyone's repeated insistence on a course of action which, even if successful, would only save a few million Europeans. It would be no more trouble to travel to Fuyuanshui, China, in 1814 and kill Hong Xiuquan, thus preventing the Taiping Rebellion of the mid–nineteenth century and saving fifty million lives in the process. But, hey, what are fifty million yellow devils more or less, right, guys? We've got Poles and Frenchmen to worry about.
At 19:01:38, LadyJustice wrote:
Well, what's stopping you from killing him, AsianAvenger?
At 19:11:43, AsianAvenger wrote:
Only to have SilverFox316 undo my work? What's the point?
At 19:59:23, SilverFox316 wrote:
Actually, it seems like a pretty good idea to me, AsianAvenger. No complications that I can see.
At 20:07:25, Big Chill wrote:
Go for it, man.
At 20:11:31, AsianAvenger wrote:
Very well. I shall return in mere moments, the savior of millions!
At 20:14:17, LadyJustice wrote:
Just checked the timeline; congrats on your success, AsianAvenger!
12/02/2104
At 10:52:53, LadyJustice wrote:
AsianAvenger?
At 11:41:40, SilverFox316 wrote:
AsianAvenger, we need your report, buddy.
At 17:15:32, SilverFox316 wrote:
Okay, apparently AsianAvenger was descended from Hong Xiuquan. Any volunteers to go back and stop him from negating his own existence?
12/10/2104
At 09:14:44, SilverFox316 wrote:
Anyone?
At 09:47:13, BarracksRoomLawyer wrote:
Point of order: this discussion belongs in the Qing Dynasty forum. We're adults; can we keep sight of what's important around here?
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